Vol. 7 No. 11                                                                                          March 19, 1996

Extra          Extra          Extra         


CATCHING UP WITH ODDS AND ENDS

IS SUSAN A GOOD FACULTY REPRESENTATIVE TO THE SENATE WHEN SHE WANTS TO SILENCE ALL VOICES BUT HERS?

      In her recent undated flyer, Prof. O'Malley notes that Sharad was seen by three faculty members near Prof. Hesse's Office. In December, Prof. O'Malley ordered Sharad to stop the publication of the Patriot. Does Prof. O'Malley realize that KCC Campus is neither the Gulag of Marxist Russia nor is it a Nazi concentration camp where innocent prisoners were prohibited from moving around and talking to each other? For the last time, please, please, Prof. O'Malley, understand that Sharad is a free man - free to speak, free to write, free to talk to anyone, and free to move around the campus. There is nothing you can or anyone else can do about this.

RECENT COMPLAINTS ABOUT PATRIOT FROM O'MALLEY AND MARTINEZ

     In recent days both Profs. O'Malley and Martinez were screaming about the Patriot and the positions it has taken in this election. But, we want to know where were they when the Patriot was criticizing the past leaderships of the local PSC Chapter? Did they complain then? OF COURSE, NOT. Why not? Because they saw their own fortunes of released time which they are enjoying now in those criticisms of others by the Patriot. HOW SELFISH AND SELF SERVING CAN YOU GET, SUSAN AND INEZ?

THE DEBACLE OF THE MEETING OF THE KCC SENATORS.

     Prof. Martinez writes in her March llth three-page report glorifying the success of the first meeting called by KCC Senators on March 7th, in Room U-218. They expected a huge crowd of faculty overfilling the room and then they were going to tell us how much they had done for us, and how many committees they were on. They had hoped that this meeting would have propelled Prof. O'Malley's sagging popularity (if there was any popularity at all) and assisted her in her quest to become, once again, THE QUEEN OF RELEASED TIME. But, what a disappointment! Besides few chairpeople, there were only six members of faculty who were eligible to vote in the upcoming election who attended this meeting. All others at this meeting were HEO's or College administrators who do not have a vote in this Senate election. Despite the fact that this meeting was timed for 3 p.m. on a payday, why were so few present? The answer is simple. THEY RESENT SUSAN's manipulative timing of two newsletters, and then this first Senators' meeting and the Union meeting on March 18th, all timed to benefit SUSAN, THE QUEEN OF RELEASED TIME and her election.

LOOKING FOR THE AUTHOR OF THE OTHER PATRIOT (reward 500 Rubles.)

     In an effort to solve the mystery of the author of the Anonymous Patriot we mailed copies of this illegitimate flyer to a) world renowned physicist, b) a well-known psychiatrist, c) a very famous sociologist, d) a distinguished linguist, and e) a reputable psychic. We asked them to evaluate these flyers and tell us what kind of a person would write these anonymous flyers in an effort to draw a composite sketch which might help us catch this confused character. Following are the summaries of their evaluations:

     a) THE PHYSICIAN: Because some of the letterings and columns in the flyer appear to be tilted to the left, this person is obviously suffering from a sickness in the left side of the brain (perhaps from too much Howard Stern listening). The use of the word "prevarications" lead us to believe that this person has difficulties walking. With this severe problem, this person can do very little but to attack healthy individuals with superior brains.

       b) THE PSYCHIATRIST: Obviously this person admires domineering females, accepts orders from females better than from males, resents authority, but likes attention in secret.

       c) THE LINGUIST: The use of the word "Teflon" indicates that this person has familiarity with metals, and as such must come from the discipline of pure sciences. However, recognizing that some of these words are above the average vocabulary of such a scientist, it appears that this person gets helped by someone with linguistic abilities, probably someone with a strong background in English.

       d) THE SOCIOLOGIST: The use of heavy black borders of the flyer indicates that this person has racist attitudes and would like to see that the people of color remain at the borders.

       e) THE PSYCHIC: Like a stray dog, hungry, dying and scrounging around the campus for a little scrap of food and crying with a faint bark, this person appears to be a very sick person, both in body and in spirit, grasping for attention, and would like to be reincarnated as a poodle and live a life on the leash walking behind a domineering woman.

       We have sent these evaluations to an FBI expert who will develop a sketch which will be distributed on the campus as an aid to apprehend this sad character and perhaps to confine him/her to an institution.

SHARAD's WELL-BEING

       Several well meaning members of the faculty and admirers of the Patriot have expressed their concern for Sharad's health, recreation, rest and overall welfare during these hectic times of election when Sharad is so busy with thinking, writing, printing, labeling, stuffing, mailing and finally launching the Patriots. Sharad wants to assure these members of the faculty that he is in perfectly good health, and enjoys every bit of activity connected to the Patriot. He smokes moderately, takes an occasional drink, and goes out with beautiful women, particularly ladies with the always attractive "Prince Valiant" hair styles. He loves movies, shows, and concerts, but above all he loves Kingsborough and his colleagues. Although some may wish that he would retire and go away, it is not going to happen, at least not for the forseeable future.

SHARAD IS HAVING ONE HELL-OF-A GOOD TIME.

Forthcoming issues of The Patriot may be accessed at the www.patriotreturns.com web site. Archived editions are available at http://www.patriotreturns/archive.htm.