Vol. 8 No. 3                                                                                     November 26, 1996

TURKEY TIPS

      Upon returning to your homes for Thanksgiving dinners with your friends and relatives, you will probably be greeted to an unwelcome telephone call from Susan "the Queen of Released Time," O'Malley, or Norah "110 Decibel" Chase or Inez "Stealth" Martinez or all of them, soliciting your vote for their hand picked candidates Eva Richter, Renato Bellu and Richard Staum for the University Faculty Senate.

      "The Queen of Released time" O'Malley and her lifelong friends are not much to be seen on the campus these days, except that, apropos to the season of turkeys, they will resurface again, ruffling their feathers in the hallways and byways of KCC on behalf of their candidates Richter, Staum and Bellu. They will smile, they will giggle, they will talk about their grandmothers and they will speak about Norah's prize winning video, they will promise you that they will help you get your unwritten articles published, they will even tell you to join their groups for a rap session on how to get promoted at KCC. They will promise you to send a special invitation to the presentation of Norah's Prize Winning video at which they will provide refreshments of cookies and coffee. They will complain about the chair people and the deans and the assistant deans, and they will blast Sharad and his Patriot, and how it is hurting the College's image within the university.

      But remember that sooner or later they will come to the point that they want your vote for their candidates, Professors Richter, Bellu and Staum.

      Based on our many years of experience, the Patriot is pleased to provide you with these "Turkey Tips."

      A) If the "Queen of Released Time" or her friends Nora or Inez call

1. If you recognize their voice, say, "Turkey!" and hang up.
2. If you see "the Queen of Released Time" and/or her friends Norah and Inez in the hall, Turkey trot in the other direction.
3. If the "Queen of Released Time" and/or her friends Norah and Inez knock on your office door, make a sound like a turkey and they will go away.

      B) If Professor Richter calls:

1. Aak her to name one single issue with which she has helped any faculty member in her many years at K.C.C.
2. Ask her as to what exactly she has done for the faculty of KCC. during the six years she served in the Senate. Where did she disappear when they took away the faculty's overloads?
3. Why is she wasting her time away on the Senate when she could very well use that time to earn a doctorate required for promotion in the English Department? She has been an assistant professor too long.
4. Why is she getting in the way of junior faculty who can very well use this senate election to fulfill the requirement of university wide service in their own promotion?

      C) If Prof. Staum calls:

1. Ask him what has he done for the faculty in his many years in the Senate?
2. As a full professor of mathematics for many years, what is he going to gain for himself by this election to the Senate?
3. why is he getting in the way of junior faculty who can very well use the service on the Senate towards their advancement at KCC?

      D) If Prof. Bellu calls:

1. Ask him when, as an active member of the Business Dept. involved in the introduction of several new programs, he would have time for the senate?
2. As a full professor in the Business Dept., he really does not need this position in the Senate. Why is he preventing the junior faculty from advancing?

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