Vol. 18, No. 2                                                                                   October 30, 2000

THE QUEEN OF RELEASED TIME, THE NEEDLE IN THE PARK AND OTHER IRRITANTS

      Since the publication of our last Patriot Returns, there have been some minor lifestyle changes at KCC. Some Deans, and the Provost, have (at least for the time being) been eating lunch in the cafeteria with members of the faculty, and appear to have temporarily shed that aura of royalty. There seems to be an attempt to mingle with the common members of the faculty, albeit with some discomfort. There is even some pretense at enjoying potato chips, since the president usually crunches on them. In any case, slowly but surely, the Patriot Returns is involved in the achievement of critical change.

      (Once in a long while, she actually teaches a course here - although not more than one per semester - more than that would not befit a Royal!) But don't fall for the trap. The title we have bestowed upon her should alert you that while she is going to lead the royal life, you are going to work. She is currently getting six hours for being on the Senate's Executive Committee and two hours for supposedly editing the four-page twice-a-year UFS Newsletter. This is in addition to the released time granted by her grant friends for writing on the same project yet again! She wants more. She is going to ask you to meet for hours in Committees without accomplishing anything. She is going to ask you to go to parades, to demonstrate, and to shout slogans. She will have all the brilliant ideas, but you are the one who will have to work. She may even address you as Comrade, but don't count on camaraderie. She will tell you how hard a life she has had but she may not want to hear your problems. She will talk to you about opportunities for junior and part/time faculty. But she will grab all the opportunities for herself. She wants to be everywhere and on every committee, but without doing work. Be on the alert. She will sweet-talk and promise to try to influence her comrades to get your article published in The Radical Teacher. Don't fall for this stuff. If past history is any guide, we think she wants to run in yet another election - for - yet more released time!

      THE SUNDIALS CLOCK WITHOUT A SUNDIAL: Over the last year, a large construction project has been completed in front of the library. This involved demolition of the old structure, the building of a beautiful courtyard with pink and white cement slabs, and trees all around with benches to sit on. However, sometime during the summer, workmen dug up the earth and after months, completed a round cement base. We thought that it was going to serve as a base for a beautiful flower pot, for stone figures similar to the lions in front of the New York Public Library, or a statue of an important figure in education, music or history. But - no, to our surprise, one fine morning there appeared a metallic, needle-like piece of art, pointed toward the sky and anchored to the concrete base. A little more inquiry revealed that it was supposed to be a sundial with a metallic plaque with an inscribed quotation -- but not from Socrates, Aristotle, Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Jefferson, or Woodrow Wilson -- but from our very temporary, eighteen-month Interim President, signed Dr. Michael Zibrin, Interim President June 2000. We will not comment on the wisdom or appropriateness of the quote. However, we are quite flabbergasted that the sundial clock is not a sundial at all. There are no dials, and there is no time. Perhaps, it was never a sundial at all. Thankfully, the plaque is not in place, although we understand it is on order at substantial college expense. Is this plaque supposed to keep Zibrin's legacy for eternity for his eighteen-month service as Interim President? You be the judge. But the comments we heard from passers-by are quite enlightening. One said, Dangerously close to little children playing near the Day Care Center in T-5. AHow much did this cost? It is too narrow in comparison to the size of the courtyard. AWhy waste money on the silly thing like this instead of spending it on education? This is already rusting. Doesn't it belong indoors? What if it falls down? Won't someone get hurt?

       SITTING WOMAN OR A WOMAN IN BONDAGE? On the western edge of the Library courtyard, you will find a statue of a sitting woman with her hands behind her back, body twisted, head tilted toward the sky. She appears to be in pain. This is definitely not a statue of Helen Keller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Betsy Ross or Susan B. Anthony. What is it? What does it represent? How much did it cost? You be the judge

       POMPOSITY AND PARKING SIGNS: As one drives onto campus thru the main gate, one cannot help but notice the pompous, authoritarian-looking signs designating where the Deans and Provosts park. Declaring their importance, these spots must be so close to their offices that they need not take more than a few steps outdoors. Besides being pompous, according to one student, the cars parked in this area pose hazzard, especially when they back up into the main artery while leaving. Yet another student feels that these prime spaces should really be assigned to the disabled, for this is the parking area closest to buildings and elevators. He had an idea. Assign seven parking spaces to the disabled, three to visitors who come to meet with the administration, and move the deans and provost to the small parking lot next to the theater which has twenty-four spaces. Mark the parking lot "Administration Parking." Place a small wooden gate which will automatically open and close upon insertion of a plastic card. Give plastic cards to those authorized to use the lot, designate twelve spaces to the chairs and ten to fifteen spaces to the Deans, Provost and other administration big shots. Since no unauthorized person can get in, no one will block another person's car or park in someone else's place. Additionally, with this plan, no one will feel resentful toward the deans and the provosts and their pompous parking signs. (Tune in next time for a discussion of college cars and free gasoline).

       THE VIP ROOM AND SECOND CLASS CITIZENSHIP. If your ears are to the ground, and are fully open, you will notice that there is an undercurrent of resentment at the college on the (supposedly unwritten) policy that only big wheels at the college are permitted to feast in the VIP Room. Secretaries and other full-time and part-time employees are not allowed into that hallowed room. No one will disagree that without the secretaries in the various departments and administrative offices, the functioning of our college will come to a standstill. They are asked to make reservations for their bosses, but they are not permitted in the VIP Room unless invited by the faculty. Most of the secretaries dress well, are not loud, behave very well, and have spouses who are doctors, lawyers, engineers, politicians and plain, working-class Americans. Why can they not make reservations for themselves or for their friends? Why can they not celebrate birthdays or special days with their colleague in the VIP room? Why can we not keep it open for two days like it used to be? Anyway, everyone must make reservations - if space permits, allow people to come. Sometimes the VIP room is half empty anyway. This is a public institution and a public facility. It should be open to all, not just for college big shots.

       THE DEAN OF FACULTY AND POLITICAL CHICANERY: The list of College Review Committees is out and it appears that, as usual, the handiwork of political chicanery by our paper pushing Dean of Faculty is back at work, selecting the same individuals, year after year, for these committees. It is obvious that the new president has been misled by the ever so helpful Dean who as some perceive, always prefers the low-keyed, mild-mannered and, easy-to-manipulate individuals to serve on these Committees. What is his agenda? Doesn't he know that good old days are over?

       Why is that a number of honest, well published, academically well credentialed and scholarly individuals never get on these Committees? How is it that the Advancement to Professor Committee has no representation from either the English or Math Departments, the two largest Departments in the College? Why is it that the Math and Office Administration Departments have only one representative each on these Committees? Why does the Dean of Faculty assign two Chair spots to himself, but fails to select even one Asian American to any of the Committees? There are eligible Asin Americans on the campus who could well contribute. In fact is it appropriate for the Dean of Faculty be on any of these Committees? He is not a member of the faculty.

       THE IMAGE PROBLEM: Up until now, the College has been known, jokingly or facetiously, as a College by the Sea and Country Club. We have beautifully painted posters showing a ship sailing on the ocean. Unquestionably, we have a sea and a beautiful campus, but it is not a country club. A great deal of activity is focused on our principle goal - that of imparting excellent education, preparing students for careers and furtherance of education. But this mission gets lost and the public perception is wrong. It seems that the time has come for us to change the perception that KCC is nothing but fun and games. We should project the image of our mission. For that we encourage ideas, discussion, and thought-provoking dialog between students, faculty, staff and the community. Let's come up with some good ideas.

A Wonderful Thanksgiving to you all!!

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