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Vol. 26, No.3 October 31, 2005
Based on reports that we have received from around the University, it seems that the "informational picketing" will be remembered as the Dear Leader's "frenzied flop." Our sources tell The Patriot Returns that:
At Queensboro, the panicked picketers doubled up with a campus "Poetry Slam" to get a crowd. But there's some good news for PSC headquarters on 43rd street---our sources report that the PSC's entry into the "Poetry Slam" won a special honorable mention prize, for most ridiculous submission. We even managed to obtain a copy of the prize-winning stanza:
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
THE RUMOR COLUMN
In the wake of this less-than-wildly successful dry run for a "job action," rumors are running through the halls of West 43rd Street that a contract settlement is in the offing. Save for the (very) lunatic fringe of the Executive Committee, and Barbara's consigliere "Tough Tony" O'Brien, those in power in the union realize that support for strike is close to non-existent. And since their self-appointed deadline of November 3rd is fast approaching, decisions have to be made. While all details of what Barbara will announce as a "great victory" are not clear, our sources close to the PSC's center have provided us with the following outline:
If any, or all, of these look familiar, they should. They have been the CUNY administration's bargaining position for almost one year! Why weren't they accepted before? Do you also recall the argument Barbara made in the October 6 th New York Metro? She said, "If salaries kept up with inflation, the top salary for a full professor would be $147,000, not $93,501, and an assistant professor's starting salary would be $78,000, not $48,000." After all that huffing and puffing, it appears that Barbara has been bluffing! What she is getting for its members is nothing but peanuts, and more peanuts.
How, you might ask, could the PSC's leadership accept these terms? How could they sell the rank-and-file out? From what we've learned, it seems that the "special arrangements" enjoyed by Barbara and her cronies won't be affected:
As before, the Dear Leader and friends will be enjoying the good life while the rest of us will be toiling in the groves of academe.
We hope that The Patriot's readers will keep the above in mind when told that night is day. But look on the bright side: at least you'll have a bit more money to spend during a much shorter summer vacation! Kool aid, anyone?
TRICK OR TREAT FROM
OUR "DEAR LEADER"
OUR "DEAR LEADER"
Sharad Karkhanis, Ph.D.